From beneath the Hammer !!!

Achcha first things first. Day 1 of IPL 4 auction clarified a few things:

1. Its getting merciless and cut throat – there are games being played even before the first toss taking place. Teams are not only bidding for getting players but also to ensure other teams exhaust their purses fast
   
2. Strategy was the king – and that was delightful to see – While the 2 new entrants got together to build their sides, older ones wanted to cash on this opportunity to ensure they have a complete over haul.
   
3. India is King @ IPL – the last edition clearly underlined the value of a good set of Indian players in the side and no wonder there was grand appreciation in the value of young Indian players
   
4. Decision making benchmark – Previous IPL performances – Clearly International cricket had not much of a bearing – IPL has its own legacy and that will dictate strategy and price tags (ask Saurabh Tiwary)
   
5. Indian Legends – You belong to the Hall of Fame not here – They are legends but when Money is decision maker, it's the overall Value that makes the call – Unless you bring in at least 2 quality contributions there isn't much value for you. (I guess deep down Ganguly knew there won't be many takers – Only batting and some medium pace cant guarantee your position, add to that the headache of hiding you on the field for 20 overs and the whole headache around personality management – no one wants to touch you with a bargepole – However I do think if he would have kept his base price at 200K, he would have got picked by someone)
   

 

So quickly lets take a look at where things are at this point of time:

 

Royal Challengers Bangalore : Virat, Dilshan, De Villiers, Zaheer, Vettori, Saurabh Tiwary, Nannes, Pujara (Purse Left $1.08Mn)

RCB certainly made it clear with its strategy to look for an overhaul and go for slightly younger lot (Remember Dravid, Kumble, Kallis, Boucher etc.)when they dint retain anyone except Virat kohli (which to me was a great call – future of Indian Cricket and Leadership Material). So it wasn't surprising at all when they went hell for leather for Saurabh Tiwary. As it stands, I wouldn't say it's the best balance we have out there, as there is considerable amount of dependence on the Phoren Babas. They had one of the weakest Indian bench the first season and hence at suffered. Edition 2 they had Pandey and Uthappa added which took them to finals. Now again they aren't looking very strong from Indian standpoint. They need a good opener to go with Dilshan followed by Kohli, De Villiers, then the rest.

 

I am curious to know who the Captain would be!!! It can be Dan Vettori with kohli as Deputy. But then Dr. Mallya is known to take risks, won't be surprised if the mantle gets passed to Virat right away- Very interestingly poised!!!

 

On a balance quotient: 4/10

 

Delhi: Sehwag, I. Pathan, Warner, Naman Ojha, James Hopes, Morne Morkel, Aaron Finch (Purse Left $3.16Mn)

With neither Sehwag, nor Eric Simmons (both at SA, with Sehwag in transit on his way back home), I was surprised to see the way Delhi went about making the team. They still have a hefty sum left and may be have their eyes set on Day 2 auctiona dn some uncapped players (their season 1 team also had a lot of catchment and local players – Viru likes it that way). But as it stands I am clueless where this is heading. Sehwag, Warner, Finch – All of them come from the same school of batting or at least the neighborhood schools. This is another team like RCB unwilling to retain the previous side – and is looking too ill balanced at this point. I would keenly await to see th proceedings today how they go – at this point I don't see strategy emanating from the GMR dudes. (the crazy price paid for I. Pathan was baffling, with the pathan boy still not bowling full clip after injury – Unless theres a leadership role in store for him there – I am clueless why Delhi went so crazily after him).

 

Of course there's heavy reliance on Sehwag. Point to note – Sehwag plays in a different league when he is with Gauti. And now with such over reliance a few successive failures at the start of the competition might just seal the fate for DD.

 

On a balance quotient: 2/10

 

Hyderabad: Pietersen, White, Sangakarra, Duminy, Dhawan, Ishant, Pragyan Ojha, Amit Mishra, Dale Steyn (Purse Left $3.5Mn)

If there was one team which has studied itself in the last 3 years well and is determined to make amends its DC. Thoroughly impressed with the way they went about their strategy of picking up a team that can be successful. After Day one they certainly seem have invested their dollars wisely in securing some of the best T20 international brains available, add to that Dale Steyn. They were one of those teams who didn't retain any players from past season, thus making it obvious they are going for a complete overhaul – how?

Most Cetrtainly the price paid for Cameroon White proves he is the Captain (Darren Lehmann at work). White on hi spart couldn't have thanked his stars more…within 48 hours from getting the Australian T20 captaincy he bags another plum job. As they say opportunity can come even when you are 70. With good international talent in the bag now DC thintank is going for Doemstic guns, which many teams missed out on – Dhawan, Ojha, Ishant, Mishra etc. I like this Left arm orthodox and Genuine Leg spin combo (Though the Hyderabad track doesn't turn too much).

By far out of the new teams DC looks strong and well balanced.

On a balance quotient: 7/10

 

Kolkata: Gambhir, Y. Pathan, Kallis, Haddin, Shakib, Lee, Tiwary, Eoin Morgan (Purse Left $1.42Mn)

When there is SRK, there is excitement and anticipation. KKR has always been in news since the day they didn't retain Dada and anyone else. With the tension that was writ large on the thintank at the auction table (with SRK absent), it was clear there was a strong dictat – get me a team that wins, I don't want to be just the entertainment quotient at IPL.

So the team got to work – finding a new captain – and ended paying literally through their nose for Gambhir. Gauti has proved to be a good leader in the absence of MSD in the recently concluded NZ series. And that tilted the balance in his favour. But $2.4 Mn. Hmmm…KKR is desperate.

Anyways, the world pooh poohed their decision to spend big in the morning – but I belive towards the end they came out quite ok. I think Shakib (Why the hell aren't people investing in Bangladesh talents – Tamim went unsold !!!), Eoin and Lee were great buys. These tilted the balance scale to a much even keel. I like the look of this team.

However, I would wait till the complete teams get selected. Sourav had singlehandedly screwed the KKR balance last time around with his choice of domestic and catchment players (Remember agarkar, murali karthik, Lakshmi shukla, Akash chorpa, Sanjay Bangar et al). There lies their key this time too. (Especially with a miniscule money left in the tank)

 

On a balance quotient: 6/10

 

Punjab: Gilchrist, D. Hussey, D. Karthik, S. Broad, Abhishek Nayar, S. Marsh, Praveen Kumar, R. Harris, Piyush Chawla (Purse Left $2.17Mn)

The problem with aussie coaches is that they feel, an Aussie captain and few good aussies will tilt the scale in their favour. I am completely disappointed with Michael Bevan's judgement in selection of KXIP. I say so, because I hold him in high regards as a coach after seeing him take his team to Success in ICL (Chennai Superstars). Even there he had Stuart Law as captain but he had a great mix of Indian Talent (Satish, Thiru Kumaran, Shabbir, Gautham ..Et al ). So when they went for Gilchrist, I was like "OK" but as the day progressed it looked just too fragmented. With Gilchrist, Hussey, Marsh and Harris in the side… Bevo certainly is counting too much on the Aussie firepower to bail this team out.

As for the franchisees they were dumbstruck – clueless !!! On paper I do find some balance, but its tilted too much foreign players dependant there lies my acidity. This was the bane for KXIP in the last few seasons, and again they are treading the same path.

On a balance quotient: 3/10

 

Mumbai: Sachin, Pollard, Malinga, Bhajji, Rohit, Symonds, Davey Jacobs, Franklin (Purse Left $1.36Mn)

Sachin, wants a good team of all rounders period. Last time around he burnt his fingers on Jayasuriya, Pollock ..so he makes amends with Symonds, Frnaklin and Davey Jacobs. All the 3 will be available for the whole season. I feel Mumbai is getting is right, and with last year's success they certainly have a great opportunity to build on that momentum to plug the gaps. I would have wanted them to retain Saurabh Tiwary – a huge reason for last season's success… but alas. Also, letting Zaheer go was baffling, as Malinga alone isn't enough. Mumbai needs bowlers… apart from Malinga and bhajji rest all are all rounders and may not hold great in tough situations.

Interestingly poised..

On a balance quotient: 4/10

 

Rajasthan: Warne, Watson, Taylor, Dravid, Botha, Collingwood (Purse Left $1.2Mn)

Akin to the previous seasons, Warne's tactics is to have a few worldly greats and build a "Team" around the with willing bunch of local (read low cost) talent. With Rajasthan reaching Ranji finals many from that side can hope for some Summer Bonus. For the moment RR (fresh out of courts with truncated budget - $7 Mn.) looked totally lost. Though Taylor, Collingowwd and Botha can be great buys …but where's Indian players…they would be the key. It was certainly clear they couldn't have retained Pathan… but If I was them I would have taken that risk. But then one player never makes a team …. And their affordability was limited.

As it stands – it isn't looking very good.

On a balance quotient: 2/10

 

Pune: Yuvraj, Uthappa, Paine, Angelo Matthews, Nehra, Callm Ferguson, N. McCullum, G. Smith (Purse Left $2.13 Mn)

I like this. If this was a facebook post I would have clicked on the LIKE button few times. There was a lot of noise around Uthappa's price… I don't think so. Noone loked at the aspect that Sahara picked him as a WK/Batsman, and that's a precious commodity. Robin is a gamechanger. Needs to be given a solid role. He is capable of being a Y Pathan, so that price is quite justified. Angelo, Callum, smith. McCullum – Great buys. For a first timer, this looks quite a solid team.

One suggestion – Don't look at Yuvi as captain !!! (As of now it looks that way). That would be a disaster. This teams looking hot, and the captaincy decision might make it sizzle or Phusss.

On a balance quotient: 7/10

 

Kochi: VVS, Mahela, B. McCullum, Sreesanth, Parthiv, R. Jadeja, Steven Smith, Murali, Powar, Hodge, RP Singh (Purse Left $2.08Mn)

Mighty impressed. Geoff Lawson had a plan and he went around actualizing it well. Mahela J, is captain. No doubts – whatsoever (did you expect Sreesanth??). Great batting, with good fast bowling (Sree and RP) and Powerful spin (Jadeja, Murali, Smith, Powar). This looks good. And they have got 11 players with over $ Mn still in the kitty. Very impressive. TThis team will need some gelling, but once done, they can be lethal.

Irony is the originators of this team weren't in place till some weeks back. And for such a team to come with such clear head was commendable. I woud like to see some additions to fast bowling arsenal and some good local batting talent added. They will have a respectable team.

On a balance quotient: 7/10

 

Chennai: Dhoni, Raina, Vijay, A. Morkel, W. Saha, M. Hussey, D. Bravo, D. Bollinger, Ashwin, Badrinath (Purse Left $1.38Mn)

My team. Defending champions – IPL3 and Champions Leauge 2010, SF IPL2, Finalists IPL1. That's a great record. And MSD had stated it clearly after winningthe CLT20, that its disappointing that the format demands the teams to be disbanded after the season 3 and auctions done to have new teams slected. As it takes a lot of time and effort to "build" a team. They did build a powerful team and were crestfallen when they had to let it all go – just when they started hitting the right cords. He did lament that "We will do whatever we can to get back the same team".

The owners obliged – Barring the exception of Parthiv, & Murali (this loss is big) they picked everyone from the previous seasons. On my book they will be the most well prepared, gelled and balanced (and experienced) as a team. Also the boys with extra dollars in their banks will be more charged. What CSK needs (Now that they have the 8 out of previous 11, and add Bravo to the mix instad of Murali), is to have good domestic and Catchment bench. S. Anirudha will be back (trust me 100%). So will be L Balaji I guess. They had a weak bowling bench – gony, tyagi. Thye probably can do a bit better there.

 

Overall I would rate their balance very high – as this has been the most successful team in the last last 3 seasons.

On a balance quotient: 8/10

 

With almost $19.5 Mn. Still left to spend and a long list of talent going under the hammer, lets see how all the teams fare. I for one am expecting to see, a lot of cerebral decisions ahead of emotions (as was the order of the day on Day 1). Will be keen to watch what happens with the unsold lot as I feel there is some strategy to buy them cheap (at their base price) towards the end.

Till then ….fingers crossed.

 

Live Cricket

AB: My favorite 15 of “the” Bachchan

Off late I have hated Amitabh Bachchan, for everything!! Maybe that's because of the over exposure that brand B has garnered over the last some years. From Binani Cement to Reid & Taylor to Tirupathi Devasthanam to UP mein dum hain, kyonki Zulm yahaan kum hai, the Bachchan has mouthed every single line given to him that could have earned him some moolah without bothering to breathe a bit of conviction into any of them. The sha(ho)llow voice couple with some over the top "ham"atization Bachchan is an unbearable cacophony. To add to it this new found PYAAR & PR for his PARIVAAR. En"uff".

But being born in the 70s and growing up in the 80s I had to be honest. The truth is Bachchan wasn't just an actor or a star…Bachchan was a savior, an inner voice, the hidden alter ego, the conscience of an oppressed nation, the single man representative of the larger populace . Back then getting a glimpse of Bachchan on the neighborhood purdah was such a novelty and once in several months affair. He came in with a bang and remained in our hearts for long. His voice reverberated in the soul of the audience and his humor left us smiling for several days (even in our sleep). That was the AB I grew up with – the star, the icon, the messiah.

Today, I remember Bachchan in my own way, through my own experience that I fondly call the Big B. These 15 performances to me epitomize what Bachchan was or could have been but somewhere in the big bad world of stardom got lost forever.

• Kumar sen – PARWAANA: Amitabh acted in this film, long before Anand / Zanjeer etc. This was when he was a struggler and was casted as the anti-hero, to Navin Nischol. The part of an envious & dangerous man, who carefully plots a plan to decimate the Hero in his desire for the leading lady … Amitabh lent such credibility and realism to the performance .. Commendable!! Certainly one of his finest performances much before he became what he did.
  
  
  
• Dr. Bhaskar Banerjee – ANAND: It took me almost 5 viewing of this classic, to realize that I sobbed at the end of the film not for Rajesh Khanna, but for the end emotional explosion of Amitabh. Minimalistic dialogues, very little screen space and a brief that probably was: "You are a doctor who is scared of losing this patient". Amitabh proved what a brilliant actor he was in portraying silence and acting with his eyes – a trait not many directors could understand or use. One of his best performances ever.
  
  
  

• Subir Kumar – ABHIMAAN: the weakest ever character that Bachchan portrayed. And there lies the brilliance of this performance. Subir Kumar, is such a believable and contemporary portrayal. Again with a cigarette in one hand, a half filled glass of whiskey in the other, with Lataji in the background… Bachchan acted with his eyes …. It takes a whole lot of conviction on the director's part of construct a complete scene with conversations happening without dialogues … the story moving forward. Bachchan lived the role ….sheer poetry and delight.
  
  
  

• Vicky – NAMAK HARAAM: "Kaun hai who maikalal jisne Somu par haath uthani ki jurrat ki, himmat hai to saamne aaye…" – A glimpse of what was to come. Rajesh Khanna was fading out, and most certainly a new tide was building up. Bachchan again in the role of a rich, proud, spoilt (to some extent), son of a exploitive industrialist… was first rate. Another role where there weren't any fights, comedy or dance to help him shine … sheer acting – silence, anger, eyes, body language…. Explosive performance. If he stole 20% limelight from Rajesh Khanna in Anand, here it was 100% AB. Khanna bowed out after this. It was AB all the way.
  
  

• Prof. Sukumar Sinha: CHUPKE CHUPKE: Hilarious, Adorable and Brilliant. In this role, AB was everything that he wasn't as the star. Timid, Nervous, Unsure and Clumsy. Slated to be a guest appearance performance Bachchan certainly made a grand impression in this avatar and to this day remains to be one of the finest exhibitions of simple family comedy that one would love to watch on a lazy Sunday Afternoon.
  
  

Here, I must take a break and lament that while Bachchan certainly emerged as this huge super star with his Angry Young Man image, his finest was in his formative years under the close supervision of the great Hrishikesh Mukherjee. No wonder that 4 of the above 5 (except Parwaana), were all Hrishida's creations with AB displaying 4 completely different emotions. (Only one I excluded here is Mili). This underlined the fact that AB was a pure director's actor – Sadly a fact that AB didn't realize well, thus began his journey with tight pants, long hair and dhishum dhishum.

• Vijay : DEEWAR: Those were the days. When even in commercial hoo haa there was substance. Carefully etched characters, strong dialogues, expert direction and some towering performances. Deewar was the beginning of a long partnership between AB and Yash Chopra. Once again the Anger emerged coupled with the impregnable silences with a fire and fury boiling inside that otherwise expressionless exterior. AB acted… and how!! Haji Mastan was well and truly alive on the screen and the world adopted the style, the swagger …even the lines – "Main aaj bhi phenke hue paise nahin leta".
  
  
  
• Vijay: KAALA PATHTHAR: If you look at Amitabh – Yash Chopra combined, there was a trilogy in Deewar, Kaala Patthar and Trishul. The anger, distaste, fury, towards the system reeking in all 3 of them. KP, was a film not many have written about. Yet in the Angry young man genre, this will be right up there along with Deewar. Mind you, AB had started to dish out trash by now. People give a lot or credit to Zanjeer and Prakash Mehra for the Angry Young Man image, in true sense it was Yash Chopra who exploited that side of the actor AB. Whether it was the constant fight with a tormenting past, or the sheer machine like disinterested approach to the daily chore of mining, the sudden spark of romance and life with Rakhee, or the fury of standing up for the cause of the miners….Bachchan was in top form through and through. (was tipped as a clash of titans between him and Shotgun Sinha…. It wasn't a match at all)
  
  
  
• Amit Malhotra: SILSILA: The word has it, that this came at a critical inflection point in AB's career. In a way his way of coming out of a much hallucinated affair with Rekha. Besides that, this was probably one of the first mature, grown up love story enacted in the commercial film parlance. And again it was Yash Chopra who dared to do something which was beyond the ordinary and tried and tested with B. The film bombed, but firmly underlining the fact that Amitabh was way way beyond the action avatar that the world was gaga about. Bachchan was always terrific portraying grey characters, and once again he managed to carve out a restrained yet powerful performance. Though towards the end, the movie belonged to some cameos from Shashi Kapoor, Jaya B and Sanjeev Kumar.
  
• Vijay: SHAKTI: I think this was one of the best ensemble of cast ever. AB, Dilip Kumar, Rakhee, Smita PAtil, Amrish, Kulbhushan (and Anil Kapoor), the film was a very well written work of Salim Javed. And inspite of such powerful team, the film revolved around AB's silence, angst, hatred, love….. Loved it. The last time Salim Javed wrote for Bachchan, and certainly the period after this clearly indicated how pivotal was their role in creating, and magnifying the anger in AB. A very critical moment in AB's career.
  
  
• Azaad: MAIN AZAAd HOON: By now AB was on a break neck descent. It was Trash-osphere all around. Coupled with an accident, a major illness, hairfall, debts, Bofors…. He was under major stress. In between supreme fiascos, came this heartwarming film loosely based on Meet John Doe. I loved this film not so much for its content of performance, but for seeing Bachchan do something different from the run of the mill Action –boom-baam, which was hitting some mind shattering depths of nonsense.
  
  
  
• Vijay DC: AGNEEPATH: This film is a tribute to the late Mukul Anand. I feel the world lost a great mind of imagination very early. Though the film is very loud … I liked the sheer scale and the dead look on AB's face. The film needed that lively kid (Ma aka achcha beta) to die the day he sees his father being lynched to death, and the character to remain so forever. Just for that Agneepath will remain as one of the best of Bachchan.
  
  
  
• DCP Anant Kumar Srivastav: KHAKEE: Almost a decade and half after, Agneepath, it was this Rajkumar Santoshi effort which saw Bachchan portray an Asthma ridden cop, who hasn't been such a high flyer, but is dedicated to his work and "duty". This is today's Bachchan. Old, Weak, Ailing yet powerful. This film had some very strong moments and AB shone like a champion. Once again good direction extracted a superlative effort from him. Khaki was a forgettable film, only made interesting by Bachchan.
  
  
  
• Chaudhary Sumer Singh: VEER ZAARA: Yash Chopra, knows how to use Amitabh Bachchan. After Silsila, AB never worked with under Yash Chopra's direction. (Mohabbatein was Aditya Chopra). You need to see this cameo to believe that, the best 20 minutes of this otherwise mediocre flick was when AB was on the screen. Portraying as this exuberant old sardar in a Punjab village who plays hockey with children as old as his grand children and thinks about the growth of his village – and yeah doesn't forget to empty a few Videshi pegs in the evening : AB is a riot in this small yet significant role. His one on one scene with SRK on the terrace and then bidding him adieu certainly makes your eyes moist – One of my favourite performances of Amitabh.
  
  
  
• Subhash Nagre: SARKAR: Bachchan's supreme ability to act with his eyes makes him an actor worth being filmed in close up. And Ramu is the master of close ups. When they came together it had to be a work of art. After ages it was silence and eyes again, and the magic hadn't waned at all… if at all it was more intense and powerful than earlier. There were hardly any dialogues yet almost a zillion words were spoken …. Remarkable!!
  
  
  
• Vidyadhar Patwardhan: VIRUDDH: I have seen this film more than 15 times and it is such a moving tale that it leaves me teary eyed every single time. The last few years we have seen Bachchan perform characters that are weak and helpless. But nothing to beat this one. A middle class parent dealing with the unexpected death of his young son, left to cope with the atrocities lammed on him by the corrupt system. It was a performance full of poignancy & grief, almost making you reach out to this man and help him.
  
  

Those were my 15 picks of the man called Amitabh Bachchan. He might have become the biggest star this land could have ever produced, but I feel his is a career which could have been more colorful (maybe less successful), if he had chosen to explore more on his acting prowess rather than templatizing himself.

It certainly has been a special career and continues to be one. As a fan, I would hope and wish there are better imaginative and brave directors who can make use of this great thespian and his endless potential. As of now we have only seen 50%.

“Paul”itics @ “Paul”lywood – How ap”paul”ling !!

Raavan Tanked (right in the backwaters of Hogenakkal shown in the film), Kites tanked (even the tank it tanked in, tanked), I Hate Luv Storys (Well, viewers chose to only see the word “Hate” ..period) tanked, Milenge Milenge (Haan yes… sometime somewhere “hit” milenge milenge… not now honey !!), Raajneeti (became Kootneeti and has gone onto become past tense as Raaj Nahi Thi), Prince (who??), …………….. Bollywood is in deep muck (just to maintain some decorum of the social forum, otherwise you know what word I had in mind).

So Mansukhbhai Hasmatbhai Patel, a new born Fillum financier, who is looking forward to lagao some of his “Kaala Dhun” in a fillum called “Tere Mere Bitch Mein Kaisa Hai yeh Bandhan Anjanaaa” (the last 2 extra “A”s added at the behest of the neighborhood fast flourishing Numerologist), is suddenly adorning a broad ishmile. Why ne? B’cos he has heard of PAUL the great, and he has booked an economy ticket to Germany just to pay our dear Oracle Uncle a visit. He intends to put a couple of boxes in the Tranquil surroundings of Paul boys abode – One with Flop written on it, the other Hit, also being a born TRANSFORMER (a term he proudly uses to describe himself to flaunt his numerous Profitable Business Tranformations), he wants to go one step further to entice the by now Superstar Pus. While the world knoes Paulie boys fetish for Mussels in these boxes, Our Patelbhai plants to put special generous dollops of Dhokla from Jamnagar in the HIT box and Thepla from Bharuch to entice our superhero. He is damn sure, that once the Dhokla lures Paul the Great… Pitchhherrr hit-itch hona, ne !!! And while he was putting this plan to final-Karo, his ever so potent Gujju Business mind kicked in and his “Parkhi Nazar (Nirma Super)” fell on the 8 limbs of our Ashtabhujadhari Champ. And he thought “Why use only two, when you can use the rest of 6 at the same cost”…. What an idea sirjee !!! So his Phinal call is hw is going to insert 8 boxes “SUPEREST DUPEREST HIT” “SUPER DUPER HIT” “SUPER HIT” “THODA BAHUT SUPER HIT” “THEEK THAAK HIT” “HIT” “OK” “SUICIDE” (Note the positive attitude that he has, he will never utter the word FLOP…mar jaaonga Kud Jaaoonga…..Mausiji…leking FLOP kabhi nahin).

Not only Patelbhai, all and sundry residing in various woods (Bolly, Tolly, Molly, Kolly, Sandal –Jeez !!!!@#$%%), are breathing a sigh of relief. While the world hallucinates with the various versions of Paul’s future escapades – some saying Paul will soon satisfy some German’s Gastronomical Itch, Some Say he will be inducted into the Spanish Royal family or as my friend Sachin Sinha said “Ashtabhujadhari Paul Baba, Spain mein Jal Samadhi lenge !!)…. Little do people know that Paul is heading right into our own Bharat and will be the Go To Man …I mean Being, for bailing out our Various-Wood Babas. A generous 20 Acres have been earmarked in FilmCity for Paul Baba’s den. Manish Malhotra has been assigned the task of Contemporarising (whatever), Baba’s outfits, Lalit Modi is looking after the Marketing of Baba’s time (apparently he has already got $6 Bn. Dollars from Won Chong Sea Food from Taipei, to be the sole provider of Mussels for next 3 years… more coming), Amitabh Bachchan will be the official Blog Writer for Baba, (Big B hasn’t missed a single day’s blog for the last 95 years …sacchi !!), ShahRukh Khan is roped in to Compere and Dance in every Bhavishyavani Session, Diya Mirza has been hired to stand and smile (which she is brilliant at), Farhan Akhtar is making a special Rock number (this time with the answers to the Uber- Intelligent questions asked in Rock-On, “aasman hai neela kyon, Paani geela geela kyon…”…And guess who gave the answers …Yesss BaaaBaaa…. “Paul”okh Niranjan), CNN IBN is the official English News Partner and INDIA TV the Hindi New Channel (But obvious, Aaj Paul Baba nahane gaye !!!)……Boy things are revving up fassst….Mumbai is brimming with activities to greet this AVATAAR. BTW …pssst…. Uddhav Thackeray separated from SS today and launched Paul Sena (Someone whispered “He has warned Germans against coming into Mumbai …”).

Meanwhile, it doesn’t end there…where there is a story there is INSPIRATION. Scripts are being churned on Paul’s story (like Ganne Ka Joos).

• Mahesh Bhatt : Paul Paul Dil Ke Paas (With Emraan Hashmi, and 8 kissing Scenes with the Octo)
• Karan Johar: Kuch Paul (Kking Kkhan saves Paul from Germans, and the final scene is he limping out with his the emotional SRK expression with Paul in his lap – munching on a mussel, and in the background the entire Germany standing a waving ……… with Hitler in the middle….. and Lataji’s awaaz floats in “aaa aaa aaaa aaaa Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Ghammmmm”).
• Anthony D’Souza (Arre wahi “BLUE” waala re): GREEN (With no story in particular, but some mindblowing camera sequences in the Green Water’s of the Aquarium – a kinda insider story from the aquarium, as to what happened when the Boxes were inserted ..and thrills and spills – literally, arre arechemedes re…).
  Vishal Bahradwaj: PAULINE (A sequel to Kameeney).
• Madhur Bhandarkar : AQUARIUM (Akin to his other names, PAGE 3, TRAFFIC SIGNAL, FASHION, JAIL etc.)
• RGV (Ek hi to hai): Bheegi “PAUL”ken (A real dark trip into the mind of the Octo-PLUS, while the world is rejoicing his predictions, whats he going through, How exploited does he feel, Is there a mental disintegration in progress, or is there a complete loss of identity …dekhna na bhooliye…..of course there will be a sequel to this “Thode Aur Bheegey PAULken”.
• Priyadarshan: “POULL”try Farm (Poor guy’s Mallu accent)…a Comedy based out of some village with 65 characters ….usual Akshay, Om puri, PAresh, Rajpal, Asrani… and the works… basically its based on a story when an Octopus lands up mysteriously in the Village Poultry Farm…and the rest is Situational !!!).

So, while the world is warming up to the idea of not hearing of Paul again, think again !!! This “Paul”itics has just begun, and a whole illustrious career and future awaits him in our Paullywood ….. “Paul”lu mein bandh ke rakehenge !!!

More Later !!

Dell Streak is here...!!!

Ooty flora & fauna - my photogaphic escapades

(Knee)JERKS !!!

PS: This is a rant. Reeks of my love for MSD.
I chose not to react on Indian defeats in T20 world cup and the aftermath in Indian media, because I knew it will be as juvenile and senseless as ever. However, after experiencing some of the most abominable reactions from Media voices and cricketers of yester years I couldn’t hold myself back.

Ok, we played badly we lost. Period. What’s the issue? We have been winning consistently over the last 3 years in bilateral and triangular formats, but in a global tournament our performance has been dismal. So what? We have developmental opportunities, and we need to go and iron things out…. So whats the issue that’s causing acidity?

To be frank, I too am disappointed like any other fan and I know there is going to be another dawn, another game and we will get our opportunity to shower superlatives on the same set of players who have been branded and treated as the biggest set of fall guys in the Indian horizon. C’mon get a life, get your arms around your disappointment. Move on !!!

Post 1983 world cup victory Indians suffered a smashing defeat at the hands of the mighty Windies at home, as if Clive Lloyd and his men wanted to give us a thorough hiding to avenge that one fluke at Lords. And then continued the bitter sweet saga of Indian Cricket, when we kept losing consistently to many adversaries like Australia, Pakistan, Sri Lanka with some exceptions like Asia Cup in 1984, The World Series (1985), Rothmans Cup (1985) till we hit upon a rough patch where every tom, dick and harry came and gave us a tablet of defeat. Of course to top it all the AustralAsia cup final ball six and then the Semi Final exit in 1987 Reliance World Cup…. My childhood was full of these stories of inferiority that all and sundry inflicted on us. While the generation of Gavaskar and Kapil Deve bowed out and Sachin Tendulkar took guard, there was a silver lining after all. Yet 21 years later (since Sachin’s entry) we haven’t been able to acquire any world cup glory…..except for that one in 2007 at Wanderers under MSD.

So post 2007 success, when we sort of got into the habit of winning with our victory percentage being on the right side of 65% for a extended period of time (in all formats), we have developed a gut that craves for excellence which is akin to 95%. Isnt that too much to expect. Afterall isn’t every progress a gradual process? But no, we are Indians, we Thrive in being mediocre and pull up others for not being superlative. It is this one trait that justifies that we don’t deserve a high performing, successful sporting phenomenon, because we would not be able to handle it for long. Soemwhere we will start wanting it to fail for us to get an outlet to again do what we seem to cherish doing – Rant and Whine, Cry and Wail. Sad but true !!!

Now let me come to the point. My ire is at some of those ex-greats who on the basis of some glories, long embedded in the history have somehow managed to acquire a license to hog national limelight or maybe to enjoy their 2 pence worth moment of attention…whatever !!! Kapil Dev, Madan Lal, Keerti Azad, Bishan Singh Bedi , Mohd. Azharuddin……all of them good players of the past, some of them certainly immortal talents, whom we always will cherish for what they did for Indian Cricket, then…. That’s critical…then and not now !!! Today they are glorified fence-sitters who earn their weekly fuel allowance by passing illogical and abhorring comments on some equally irresponsible new channels to help these media mongrels earn some inexpensive TRP points.

Now all these greats appear on TV and call for Dhoni’s head and make their precious comments on various flaws that MSD committed. Who are these people? What are their credentials? What have they done to enhance Indian Cricket stature? Well, you got it right, nothing !!!

· Kapil Dev: Great player. Poor Coach. Started ICL (Failed). Wrote an Autobiography which is an encyclopedia of Grammatical errors (Trust me, I read it), hasn’t developed a single Pace Bowler, Was appointed in the Pitch Committee to develop faster wickets (Well, its all there to see) etc. etc.
· Madan Lal: Forgettable. Runs a coaching clinic in Delhi, hasn’t given one player to international arena
· Bishan Bedi: Great Player, So So Captain, First Indian Coach (Innovative and most effective – as he was the only incumbent who felt Indian team should be thrown into Pacific Ocean…who says coaches aren’t result oriented), Runs a Coaching Clinic – Results questionable, Worked with Bhajji early in his career and later said, no honest bowler can bowl Doosra, has contributed a lot of non-vegeterian jokes to the joke collection of Khushwant Singh ……..etc. etc. (No wonder even his son hasn’t taken after him and was last seen fumbling with words doing IPL anchoring)
· Keerti Azad: Whatever…
· Azharuddin: One of my favorite batsmen ever, Successful captain, Unscrupulous to the core (ask Sachin Tendulkar), Failed entrepreneur, Not a surprise with those credentials became a politician (how predictable)

These people come on TV and lambast MS Dhoni and call for his head, if that wasn’t enough, they comment how appalling it is to see Indian Batsmen’s inability to deal with short stuff, Ravindra Jadeja doesn’t deserve an international berth, Indian bowlers cannot bowl at 150 kph, etc etc.

Questions I am asking:
1. When was the last time an Indian Bowler bowled at 150 kph +??
2. Which of the above players were great players of Short bowling??? (Azharuddin almost wet his pants facing Patterson in 1989, and ran away from his crease…..shame).
3. What has been the contribution of these so called greats to produce at least ONE good quality talent under their tutelage?? (Hail Dennis Lillie, who have spent more than 25 years worked at MRF pace foundation with an Indian called T A Sekhar, and produced bowlers like Samir Mehra, Srinath, A. W. Zaidi, V. Prasad, Vivek Razdan, Salil Ankola, Zaheer Khan, Irfan PAthan, Sreesanth etc. etc.) …Where were, Kapil, Bedi, Gavaskar, Shastri, Azhar…???
4. What have our ex-cricketers done to help our players (avg age 23-24), with playing Short Stuff??? When was the last time we heard a past cricketer giving a pep talk to our players (Now that doesn’t pay does it….and these ex cricketers call our players money minded….Dilip Vengsarkar almost had a legal battle while being a selector when his syndicated column was under cloud as a conflict of interest). Its so easy to pass comments and earn money, why go the harder route??

I am ok, with our team not faring well. Because I am happy that since 2007, these boys have given me enough moments to be happy about our cricket. I have spent all my childhood hoping that someday some Indian batsman would win a match from a lost cause, and I always slept unhappy. Not anymore. Because in Sachin, Sehwag, Dhoni, Yuvraj, Raina, Gambhir I have had many moments where we won from impossible positions, saved games from improbable corners (Remember Gambhir’s 6 sessions grind at New Zealand??), so I am not complaining. In them I have got the hard hitting answers that I have always wanted to give to the world, which none of the Gavaskars, Azhars, Shastris, were unable to do.

So what they played badly, I am proud of them, because they don’t have the luxury of playing for only 120 days of the year (like some of our past heroes). These guys play for more than 250 days in a year, yet turn up with whatever they are left in their limbs and calves. Where is that comprehensive plan of conservation of our cricketing talent from the BCCI???

There needs to be some corrective measures. Players need to get back to 100% fitness (its apalling). We need to plan for 25 players for the 2011 world cup. Am sure those activities will swing into action with Gary and Co. I am not worrying.

While I can tolerate any amount of reactions from the layman on the streets, as their reactions suggest their love for their team, but not these absolutely incorrigible bunch of ex-caps. I have tremendous respect for Imran Khan (who gave Akram, Aaqib and Waqar to Pakistan), Border (who made Steve Waugh, Dean Jones), Dennis Lillee, Bob Simpson, Viv Richards (incidentally he has raised his hand to help Indian Batsmen), and others.

Not an ounce of respect for these bunch of (Knee)jerks !!!

Chennai truly Super Kings (Thats the way Mahi Way) !!!

Finally after being the most consistent team for 3 seasons (by making entry to Semi Final stages, in every season and being in final twice), CSK finally lifted the trophy. For many reasons I felt this was on cards, not that I wasn’t happy with Mumbai Indians run to the final and God being in such tremendous touch. But, for the last 3 seasons always felt CSK was playing the most beautiful cricket, something that brings on a smile to your face – The quality, the composed approach, the sheer audacity at times, the camaraderie et al. So when IPL III kicked off I was yet again clad in the yellow rooting for my team – the lions from the city of Madras.

Have always maintained that one big reason for a person like me who cannot call any one city as mine, to support Chennai was (my better half being from there) – Mahendra Singh Dhoni, the rancher for Ranchi, who in the last 2 years have given us the Indians many reasons to rejoice our superiority on the cricket field and also a few coaching lessons on being calm on the face of challenges!! So when Chennai paid through their nose to acquire him in 2008, there wasn’t any doubt that the franchise owners wanted to build a team around the personality and exploits of MSD. This was apparent and visible. What was not, was the assurance of Consistency of performance and building a cohesive unit out of nobodies which MS specializes in by now (remember 2007 WC victory, 2008 Triangular Series victory down under..)

In the 3 years that has gone by if we go back and reminisce Chennai performances we will find while the team boasted of some big names like Haydos, Huss, Murali, Albie, Jake Oram, Andrew Flintoff, Makhaya Ntini, Justin Kemp etc. the crux of the side was built around the lesser know Indian Contingent who made it possible for CSK being the most consistent side – Raina, Parthiv, Vidyut, Badri, Vijay, Ashwin Bala, Jakati, Gony, Tyagi, Palani Amarnath etc. Looking closely what does come out starkly was an acute shortage of international experience within the Indian Players yet, CSK emerged into what it is today effortlessly. So, what worked? The answer is not critical just from a cricketing standpoint but also for any organization trying to form a performing unit out of a bunch of diverse, inexperienced members this may be a great example to learn from.

1. Franchise: SRK, Priety, Mallya, Shilpa, Ambanis – Well the talk of IPL franchises throws up these big names, who have for some reason abel to garner a lot of attention ahead of their teams. In some cases like messrs. Khan, the attention is much bigger than his team and you wonder whether he is playing or his team. For me these publicity / attention have done more of bad than good, adding a lot of pressure on these teams. CSK on the contrary has been a low key team (how many of you really know about their credentials – India Cements, N. Srinivasan etc.). Well there is a bit of cloud on their ownership or conflict of interest etc. but that notwithstanding, the unnecessary publicity noises was near negligible. The Franchisee put together a team, a captain and a support team and handed over the cricketing affairs to them. No wonder there hasn’t been any controversy around who should play, player shunted out, discipline, contract etc etc. Somewhere, this low key status worked wonders as the focus remained on the team, and there wasn’t any additional pressure from any quarters.
2. Promotion: MSD is the biggest Cricket brand at present in India. CSK had him, and some other pros. Yet they didn’t go over the top trying to wriggle out tiresome ad slots from their team. While MSD went on doing “Yeh mera mobile hai, mera…” the rest of the team was left untouched. They weren’t burdened with too many obligatory Post IPL fashin nights, as the team enjoyed within themselves making, DUBLIN (ITC Park Sheraton, Chennai) as their base.
3. Team: The most crucial ingredient of all. Here it may seem CSK got it a bit wrong trying to go for these big all rounders like Morkel, Oram, Flintoff (Unfortunately the latter 2 have spent 60% of their cricketing life recuperating from injuries), rather than going for specialist bowlers – and this deficiency costed them dearly last couple of years till Dougie Bollinger came along. All of a sudden, the team looks strong and balanced. However, one great thing that we saw in 2008 and that continued thereon was MSD’s uncanny abilityto put together a competent unit with unknown faces. Somewhere this was the aspect that was worth Champagne celebrations in 2008, with 2 teams in finals whose captains virtually stitched together teams out of nobodies and the contest got decided of the last ball of the match. Am sure, taking a leaf out of the team of 2010, the franchise and Cricketing think tank of CSK will do some judicious calls in 2011 when all players come up for auction once again. (Somewhere Haydos did mention to MSD earlier this season to go for Mitchel Johnson next season, that’s an interesting one).
4. Fun: It may sound a bit prejudiced, yet I found the best camaraderie between domestic and foreign players alike with CSK. I didn’t find any dugout, where a Murali was squeezed between Tyagi and Jakati (with virtually no space to squeeze in), or Raina ribbing Hussey with 3 runs to win in a game or the little fellows (read Parthiv, Raina, etc.) bouncing on the mammoth Haydos, and any similar antiques. There was fun and laughter but not to that extent. The body language showed, complete enjoyment, where everyone knew everyone loved everyone and were proud to be with everyone. Many years later when Organization development experts study these aspects they might unravel the real reason for such successes – Enjoying the job at hand, every bit. But then this trait of making work fun has been a synonymous aspect of MSD – (Remember the 2007 WC winning team – such a contrast from the serious and drab team just a few days back under Rahul dravid). Its one thing to take part in such competition and its completely another thing to participate with a smile and laugh your way through the competition – almost making a mockery of the pressure and hurdles.
5. Confidence: This one was new. CSK till last year didn’t look too confident of their overall skill. Somewhere they knew that they didn’t have a completely balanced outfit. It seemed the same this year too. However, the moment Dougie Bollinger came in and they cracked this combo of Dougie – Ashwin to open followed by 2 spinners and one quickie, they were a different animal altogether. The later portion of the IPL III, they looked so confident that somewhere that had a telling effect on the oppositions. Beating RR, RCB, Mumbai, KKR, KXIP, DC and Mumbai towards the end was one helluva comeback, and that spoke zillion words about the kind of confidence that one addition brought to the team.
6. Support Staff: Stephen Fleming take a bow. All through his playing days this ace captain was an epitome of composure and astute strategy. So a combination of Flem and MS was a deadly combo. Add to this the expertise of Steve Rickson, their fielding coach. CSK, surprised everybody with their fielding and catching this season. Several games got overturned purely due to the noose that kept tightening around the opponents jugular due to some electric fielding. Venky Prasad did his bit to work out bowling strategies and the tactic of utilizing the ever so declining pace of Indian wickets towards the end of a cricket season was a masterstroke. 3 spinners strategy broke the backs of many teams – including Mumbai in the finals. To have a team that virtually walked through the tournament with just 1 injury (that of Dhoni) speaks volumes about the others in the Support staff. If you noticed closely, the way one of their staff members (Ramk), help a bottle-cap in his mouth for the complete duration of Semi Finals and Finals, showed their dedication of doing their part flawlessly.
7. MSD: No words will be enough to describe the contribution of the Skipper. I am a die hard fan of MSD for some reasons – a. His Professionalism b. His down to earth demeanour c. His focus on performance & consistency d. his hard work e. his continuous improvement f. his maturity g. his leadership h. his control over himself and emotions and so on. And he did bring all of that to the fore. But the couple of things that impressed me this time were his completely relaxed demeanor even when his side had its backs to the wall and his supreme captaincy on the field (especially in SF and Finale). His field placing, bowling changes, and his overall strategy was spot on. Once again he made heroes out of unknown entities – Vijay and Ashwin this time. We have seen how some of the other captains haven’t been able to manage some big international names in their teams (like McGrath, Lee etc.). MS was fabulous with his foreign players. There didn’t seem any lack of understanding who was the boss, and he had earned the resepect of one and all. They played for him and they won for him. Well if that wasn’t the hallmark of a great leader, I don’t know what is.

CSK wasn’t the most deserving team in the finals – so the many overpaid experts feel. Nevertheless, they looked the more accomplished, professional and comfortable team in the finals. A team which was at ease with the situation, and a unit that was just having fun in each other’s company. Somewhere those 2 towering hits under the scrutinizing eyes of Dalai Lama (by MSD), had galvanized a sense of purpose and a far more pronounced sense of calm amongst them.

IPL III was most certainly the best, because of the overall quality, availability of most of the players but most importantly for the beautiful cricket played by Mahi and boys. Well, that’s the way Mahi way !!!

Oh "Ball(s)"ywood !!

I am cynical. Can’t help being so. This is my blog, my space, I can be that way. A few years back I wrote this, yet as the years have gone by, I have witnesses world cinema progress to newer levels and Hindi cinema has drowned deeper into the abysmal depths of factionalism, self fulfilling prophecy, insecurity and crass. The more I witness these awards more abominating it gets.

This weekend brought together the opportunity of witnessing the best tributes and celebration of cinema along with some pathetic replicas at home. Don’t blame me for comparing, because thanks to the Information boom happening allround you cannot but compare. Sunday witnessed the retelecast of Screen Actors Guild awards, Golden Globes and apna Filmfare awards.

For a new entrant to the platform called Twitter, I have been witnessing a lot of hoopla around this years’ Filmfare awards, its quality, fairness, hosts etc. Jitesh Pillai, the head honcho at Filmfare was going all gag a over how wonderful Shah Rukh khan as a host is, how humorous Saif Ali khan is...how wonderful the evening was blah blah.

So for the filmy and awaara that I am, I looked forward to this Mahaa Awards Sunday followed by a few hours wink, only to wake up and continue with Live action from the Oscars.
Mouthwatering stuff. The evening begins with on time starts for SAG and Golden Globes, even the recorded Filmfare started late. And then what came out of the screen was a mix of pure discipline & celebration and complete mess and terdicous farce. Thankfully Oscars was the last one that I saw today morning, it erased all that agony that I went through and was replaced by pure joy of watching one of the best program managed ensemble of people celebrating Cinema like there wasn’t any tomorrow. Some of my observations or rather cynical rants are:

1. Can we ever, for just once come near to the standards of Oscars? Do we want to?
2. Can we ever, be so united (am sure there are differences, politics or ego in H’wood too), in the cause of upliftment / celebration of Cinema?
3. Can we ever, have the spine of awarding a Hurt Locker ahead of Avataar?
4. Can we ever, be so comfortable of being self depreciative in our humor like a la Steve Martin / Alec Baldwin and yet take on others with everyone enjoying it?
5. Can we ever be so genuine in the words we say, the feelings we express and praise that we shower? Can we at least come with a practiced speech anticipating a victory?
6. Can we ever, give the centerstage to the winners and not steal away moments of their glory? (I wish SRK / SAK learn from how the Oscar hosts just pop in and pop out after momentary appearances, yet capture the hearts of the millions watching)
7. Can we ever, give Technical Awards similar time, attention and applause as the Actors / Directors?
8. Can we ever, put Chopras, Khans, Bachchans etc. in the 10th row, if they haven’t been nominated, and give the front rows to nominated personalities?
9. Can we ever, celebrate INDIAN CINEMA, irrespective of language / region etc..as ONE and look at celebrating Cinema, not stars?
10. Can we ever, religiously stick to 5 nominations per category, and bite the bullet of excluding some leading performances, even if that hurts people?

I don’t think the answer would be YES to any of the above. Not because we can’t or its beyond us. Because we don’t want it that way. Hindi Cinema (Read the Bollywood part of it – Khans, Chopras, Johars, Bachchans and their chamchas) cannot let awards be beyond them. They want the stage for themselves and for their glory. They want these platforms to make themselves feel good. They can never let someone else take centerstage. They will never want a stage for INDIAN CINEMA where a “PA” performance will not even get a mention in the stipulated nominations. Vidya Balan, will never ever, get a chance for playing that hysterical role in PA, Aamir khan will probably grace the occasion with his presence but wont be nominated for 3 idiots…but then we will celebrate Cinema. Abhay Deol, will find a mention in the best acting performance nomination list….!!!

It’s a shame that we boast in various world stages as the largest producers of motion picture in the world, yet we can never find one of our films being recognized worldwide.

When prodded the so called custodians of Indian Cinema (Read the bollywood sharks) want to feel that this is India and we do things our way. Why should we ape Hollywood? But these same people want to adorn themselves under the new found websters phrase “Bollywood”. If this is not hypocrisy then my name is Quentin Tarantino.

I am cynical. Why should I not be? Who are these custodians? These illiterate/ unintelligent band of no-gooders, don’t even know what are the contemporary issues in the world. They cant dare to make a film on recession, present state of politics, Satyam Saga, 26/11…they can pick up glamorous topics of designer terrorists in NY and a botched up imaginary tale which hardly sembles reality. They work on hearsay clichés (Call centers are all about extra marital affairs and a temple of debauchery…my foot). They don’t want to research one bit, make something stupid and then cover it up by saying this is fictional, this is India and we make our kind of films based on our culture…again my foot.

India needs a Motion Picture academy. But that isn’t possible till a chosen few feel they run the industry. No SRK / AB or any Starry Snob is bigger than Cinema. If we can have an academy which is for Cinema and not stars, we can think of giving rise to a platform where Cinema will be celebrated, progressive and truly world class.

With the present situation, well, we can just hope cinema to be a doormat for a few households in Juhu, Yari Road & South Mumbai.

EMERALD PARK

Our house coming up in a place called Pocharam. Eagerly awaiting for it to finish.

10 things that I want to see changed in 2010 – with immediate effect!!!

While the whole world reflects back on 2009, I thought of doing so too - trying to see what bothered me the most that I would like to change. They are in no specific order, just as they occured to me.

PS: These may sound cynical rants ...that is by design. :-)

1. Men in Beard
   Its 9.00 am, a start of a fresh morning. I am all set for a gripping day’s cricket. As I get past the cacophonic pre match analysis and the ever so clueless pitch report (son of a pitch), it is toss time. A well slept and well fed Ravi Shastri (with puffed eyes), beams in to my drawing room “Good morning, Guwahati. We are all set for another fascinating game of cricket. The men who matter are in the middle – Match Referee Chris Broad (impeccably dressed), the two captains (Ricky Ponting – with his clean shaven fast resembling George Bush expression and MS Dhoni ……. – Unshaven salt and pepper beard, Hair all over the place ill fitting Nike Outfit …). Thought crosses my mind – How much time does it take to shave? India decides to bowl… the entire team walks in MS, Viru, Gauti, Yuvi, Tendlya, Virat, Suresh etc etc. Ek ne bhi shaving nahin kiya. They are a great bunch no doubt… but please can you please shave? Theres nothing fashionable with a weeklong / monthlong “fasal” on your face (with you scratching it throughout). It is uncouth. (Maybe BCCI is negotiating a deal there too with Gillette …. Anything is possible… imagine Yuvi with Gillette written on his left cheek and Mach III on right = $650 mn for BCCI).
2. Spare the Larynx and Pharynx …. And our Eardrums!!!
   “Enough is Enough” - that was the punchline floated by messrs. Prannoy Roy and Co. post 26/11 fiasco. I would like to play it back to the news media (cutting across all languages). Please don’t shout your guts out and demean the capabilities of the state of the art microphones procured painfully by your Purchase / Procurement departments. We can hear you even when you mutter swear words under your breath (remember election counting days …. Barkha whispering “What’s going on…it’s a screw up” when one of the videos / god knows what did not play at the right moment). Please spare us from this blaring glaring (which you think Daring) moments. Its such a pain when you choose not to watch the news channel but this unbearable screams somehow make into your ears from the drawing rooms of the neighbours. How about a week long crash course in “How to speak in low amicable tone and make an impact” from Halla Gorani (CNN). And I wish I can take law in my hands I would commit homicide on the next journo who says “How are you feeling / Aapko kaisa lag raha hai?”.
3. Paapi Pet (Abs) ka Sawaal
   Ab(s) bas. What started with Shekhar Suman to SRK to Aamir to Shahid to John to Imran (hashmi & khan) to (maybe) Vidya Balan to Raakhi Saawant…… As If its like the TV Antenna of the good old times … we used to compare I have 13 bars, I have 18 bars … (6 pac 8 pac…10 pac…family pac) …bull. Its like being a perpetual Crunch(es) situation. Please spare us from this immaculately waxed, sweaty stomachs and show some face.
   
4. No more VAJRA
   Hell no…VAJRA is not another missile to be test (mis)fired. VAJRA is – VENKAT (Yechuri), ARUN (Jaitley), JAYANTI (Natrajan), RAVI (Shankar Prasad) and ABHISHEK (Manu Singhvi). They appeared on either CNN IBN or NDTV or Times NOW every day for the last 365 days. Being at each other’s throat (and am sure drinking at each other’s expense post those interviews). With that regular and that many meetings they should be bum chums by now. And what debate …. Totally incredulously spectacularly foot in mouthiest blabber. I guess their job is to just come on air every night prime time to give every household some break to make garam rotis for dinner to get ready for a nice juicy teleserial beginning with “K” or “B”, or some EPL game or some Hollywood flick. (All I remember when they speak is Congress…Congresss…BJP…BJP…. LEFT …. LEFT… gosh nothing is LEFT in my head). Change …..immediately.
5. Vast Uff @ Hyderabad !!
   This ones straight from the heart. Have been wanting to buy a home for myself for the last one year. But have got lost in the bylanes of Vastushastra…which is intended to make your living healthy, prosperous and energetic. But at Hyderabad this shastra or the usage of it beats me. All plans look the same – South East Kitche, North East Bedroom, North West second bedroom (with Balcony), 80% walls, 11.75% windows ….. with such little sunlight, air, ventilation….how can one expect energy…forget energy …basic Oxygen for respiration. Its perspiration aplenty. I want to change this aversion to Windows at Hyderabad. There are living rooms with a door opening into a balcony and a window also opening into the balcony… why not remove the wall and open everything to balcony …. Clueless. Vast uff !!! Please please change.
6. Manicured & Pedicured Designer Terrorists of Indian Origins
   Now this is a new trend with apna fillum wallahs. Love story in Umrica laced with a Terrorist Angle. And then they crib they were put through an extended Security Check. They should be imprisoned for making these fillums – Innocent hero getting caught into the EMOSANAL ATTYACHAR of FBI (FBI is a glamorous word in Bolly nowadays), and then causing some bomb blasts or threatening to blow Umrica…etc etc. Chee… stop it.
7. MNS SS Sshhh !!!
   This is a serious case study for Identity Crisis, aftereffects of bunking the class of Political Science and drawing too many vitriolic cartoons (Both sr. and jr. Thackerays are cartoonists – only claim to fame). I think both the parties’ head quarters have sign boards with additional prominence given to the word SENA and the rest as fine print. And I guess their slogans are common – something to the tune of “DO before you think, Keep doing… Start thinking when everything boomerangs”. Grow up folks !!!
8. Bhajji’s Pehla
   This is very dear to me, being an avid Cricket fan. Like the razors and shaving gels of his counter parts Bhajji too lost something (Shaving not being on agenda for him). His Pehla…. His every pehla doosra teesra ball is a Doosra … where is pehla – the traditional off tweak. This is of serious national concern and needs CBI intervention (but those guys are lost too … in Jessica, Ruchika, Etcetra Etcetra).
9. Amitabh (se) Bachchao
   Bhacchan saab bachchon ki tarah bachkaani baton mein bachi khuchi stardom ko bachane ki koshish kar rahe hain…. Bachao bachao. Starting from Binani Cement, Boro Plus, Dabur Chyavanprash, Himani Fast Relief, to Bigg Boss, Paa, Alladin, Bhoothnath (This movie was telecasted 27 times in the last 2 months on various channels), Ab tak Bachchan …. Its AB everywhere. Sprinkle these with those visits to 735 temples and shrines, 643 recitation programs to recite “Madhushaala”, a few customary stomach aches…. Sometimes I feel this was his way of marketing himself ahead of SRK and Aamir. How about another Sabbatical Mr. Bachchan?
10. Go(re) Green
    After being completely ignorant about Global Warming (watch Lalu say this term, he says Gobar Warning…lol), I laid my hands on Al Gore’s the Incovenient Truth. Boy..wasnt I scared watching this horror flick. Imagine this “Earth is heating – as if someone has turned the gas onto HIGH mode, Greenland is melting – chunks of ice melt into the sea, Sea level rises – Archemedes remember??, Water gushes into landbase, Earth drowns……” …. Then there is Dennis Quaid / Will smith – Sole survivor, who have to connect with this one Russian “Gary Sinise” in a space craft revolving around earth. They plot a plan to freeze Greenland back thus reducing waterlevels ….if they do that in 23 minutes and 38 seconds they might still save 300 bn people who were about to breathe their last. …………. Forget it. I am shit scared of what I saw and am clueless what I can do.

Its one of those Telengana bandhs at Hyderabad and I am going mad sitting alone at office. Khaali dimag shaitan ki mandi. You got the taste above. If I have my way, I would listen more, laugh more, love more and Care more. Have a great 2010 …al of you. God bless.

The Little Big Man – SRT. (Move over SRK).

As I read the Times of India on December 12th 1988, (I never went beyond the sports page), one black & white snap stood out. That of a gawky 15 year old posing for the Photographers in a classical Cricket cover drive pose. The day before, this young lad had caught the imagination of the Mumbai (then Bombay) cricket die hards, by scoring a 100 of 119 balls with 19 sweet hits to the fence, in his maiden appearance in the most prestigious domestic event. If that wasn't all, the dressing room rules at Wankhede had to be altered overnight to accommodate this under 18 whiz kid (as they had a rule that only adults were allowed in there). I have been a great admirer of the Colonel, Dilip Vengsarkar, for his technically supreme cricket, but his biggest contribution to Cricket was to pick this 15 year old from the parks of Sardashram Vidyamandir and escalate him to the visible fabric of Indian Domestic Cricket. Of course, a lot of comments were made - "The new Gavaskar has arrived" "Teenage sensation" etc etc, along with them came many under the breath mutters of caution. One that distinctly stood out was the one from Kapil Dev, then a fading hero, - He reminded the nation of another teenage sensation Rajdeep Kalsi, who had gallons of promise but who ended up in a whimper unable to manage everyone's expectation around him.

That was then. Noone knew what this unassuming, shy, reserved son of a Professor from the suburbs of Mumbai had in mind. He was destined for greatness, and he did erase all those questions from everyone's mind soon enough. What followed that Ranji debut century can be termed as an apt entry for a true super star in making. He followed that with hundreds in his debut Duleep & Irani trophy games (in the same season) - all 3 being the topmost domestic competitions, leaving no doubts where he belonged. It was in summer of 1989, India toured West Indies, and the team that went there could at best be termed pedestrian. Led by colonel, the team lacked a good solid top order batsman. We did have Sidhu, Shastri, Azhar, Manjrekar & Vengsarkar, but a tour to the Carribeans without Gavaskar was like going to the war without your Lieutenant. There were talks of blooding Sachin, into the squad then, but certain circles felt it would be too much for a 15 year old to handle. So they spared him out of sheer Concern for him. In the hindsight, it sounds so juvenile.

Nevertheless, India got drubbed by Richards's men, that is an understatement. And the juggernaut moved on. India prepared to make a visit to Pakistan, and across the borders knives were sharpened. Their bowling boasted of Imran, Akram, Waqar, Aaqib and Quadir. This time, there were no kid gloves, as Sachin got his entry into the big bad sweaty world of International Cricket.

It was TODAY 20 years back that he walked out with the Indian Test Cap on his head. A 16 year old, who was oft reminded by the partisan crowd in Pakistan of the bottle of milk he had forgotten back home. Well, I am not here to recite his complete Cricket life as that I will save for Sachin himself to narrate when he finally decides to say "its enough". But what I wanted to express was my growing up with Sachin.

When he made his Debut it was grade XI for me, and some where my tryst with Competitive world overlapped with his entry into the International world of Cricket. From then on there have been numerous moments where he was the reason for my excitement, determination, dedication, discipline and achievement. He was that alter ego I would have loved to have. He was that shadow, I longed for but was only happy to see and emulate on the Telly. Sachin was me - I laughed for his Success, I cried for his failures, I jumped in the small confines of whichever room I am watching the match whenever he did so, I chose to utter those rosy words of Acrimony whenever he was attacked in a non cricketing way, seethed in anger when critics had to write him off, and sniggered away to glory when he shut them off again and again and again.

I don't know but its just coincidental that Indian economy, competitive spirit, global presence, moolaah in cricket, professionalism in sports etc. coincided with Sachin's ascent on the Cricketing Barometer. Only time will tell how much has been his contribution to India overall in a non cricketing sense. Maybe someday, when he had made a dignified exit, the world will realize what his presence on the cricket field meant to this nation. But one aspect cannot be overruled and that is whenever Sachin succeeds, India is happy. Debts are pardoned off, Inmates are treated to good food in jails, Political parties for once don't go for the collars of oppositions etc. India becomes productive. India progresses.

If I have to look back a few memorable moments in that career that were defining for me, they would be:

1. Hitting 6 sixes to score 53 of 15 balls, in his first ODI @ Gujranwala, which was converted into an exhibition game. Though we lost, the world noticed the big hitting prowess of this little big man.
2. The final over in the finals of Hero Cup against South Africa in 1992, when it was 6 balls to go 6 runs to get scenario, and Azhar was clueless whom to bowl. Sachin (Still a teenager) plucked the from his skipper's hands and bowled a dream over to win the game for India (Sachin the Competititor had arrived)
3. 1991 Perth hundred, where on a wicket which would send goose pimples amongst an established batting line up, he chose to keep his chin up and score a hundred
4. The Sandstorm Innings in Sharjah, which was one Defeat India will always cherish. He scored another hundred the next day to win us the tournament single handedly, it was his birthday. (Ripe old age of 23)

5. That "So near yet so far" 123 at Chennai against Pakistan. We almost won the game. I sometimes wonder how much disservice some of the other Indian players have done to Sachin, not able to finish such close games
6. 155 n.o. in Chennai in 1998 against Warne and Co., which set the tone for what was in store for the Aussies. He thumped Warne in a manner that caused nightmares to the great leg spinner.
7. That 250+ knock at Sydney in 2003-04, where he ignored the off side as if it never existed, and in the process displaying the art of concentration and discipline to the T.

I can go on, till as recent as 5th Nov 2009, when I saw the God play in front of me at Hyderabad. I have been to many matches in my career, but never witnessed a Tendulkar in the “zone”. What luck? As if the lord Almighty had planned a bitter sweet day for me. While we lost the match, what I witnessed in that 175 from Sachin, will be one of the highest points of my life. If I say I was exhausted I won’t be lying, but I was exhausted of crying out “Wow” so many times during that epic. I had heard Sourav Ganguly (his partner in crime – from the other end, of more than 200 innings), say to a channel a few days before that innings at Hyderabad, that he was batting well and a big one was due. Couple of things surprised me (1). Sourav’s immaculate understanding of his partner (2). The sheer magnum of the big one. All I would say, it was great to see a Big one from the Little Big Man.

But then that was Cricket and Sachin. There is more to him. Beyond Cricket. Which adds couple of more shades of greatness to him which people like Warne, Lara would never attain. (They are true greats, mind you. I am not trying to undermine them), but Sachin in India, is a different challenge which is unique and no other sportsman around the world can comprehend the magnitude of that burden. And there lies his true genius. These couple of decades, without a single blemish that would remotely be termed embarrassing or controversial. Not a single interview with any vitriolic remark or any self effacing comments. Not a single instance of false pride (while he had all the rights to exercise some)……………all we got was the same Reserved, Shy and Unassuming Sachin (of 1988). The values were strong and for ever. A “Paaji” for the team (Still can’t comprehend how can a Maharashtrian man be termed Paaji, which means highly respectable big brother in Punjabi but a Scoundrel in Marathi), and Simply Sachin to his mates of his era. The respect he garners from the legends of the past and present is unparallel. Just the other day in the Border – Gavaskar trophy (2007-08), second test at Sydney - he played that great innings and while doing so was not out overnight on 9 at the end of day 2. The great Neil Harvey made it to the ground next morning (at 82, that’s quite a challenge), and he was a bit late reaching his seat in the member’s box. But the first thing he asked around was “Is he still there?”. That’s just an example of what has been the pull Sachin had on greats, of course the Don himself got reminded of his own way of playing whenever Sachin batted. Now there couldn’t be any bigger testimony of this man’s greatness.

Yet, Sachin was human. When he resigned from his first stint as Captain, and the role went to Azhar, Sachin like that sweet school boy, blocked one entire page of Times of India to justify various decisions as captain as if to make a point to the establishment. And the next time the captaincy came to him (1999-2000), Sachin’s sheer distaste for dishonesty and murk was clearly evident. He went on a tour of Australia with a team which could not possibly win a domestic competition just to keep out the unscrupulous elements from the team who had started compromising the cleanliness of the game (That was the first real indication of all wasn’t well between him and Azhar). His clear dictat to the board of either him or Azhar was probably one of those very minute moments of Sachin’s political mindset that accidentally peeked out of his well guarded self. I am sure, his voice did play a very critical role in later physically cleansing some of this elements out of the game.

As he embarks into his 20th year of greatness at the world level, I am sure the Achilles heel will only be more painful, the hamstrings will feel like rock of Gibraltar a little more, the shoulder’s would seek the ligaments be replaced with artificial ball bearings….but the spirit of that gawky 15 year old from Shardashram Vidyamandir and hunger for runs will go on. I remember when Sunil Gavaskar retired in 1987, I almost gave up watching and playing Cricket feeling, whats left in the game. Till Sachin came. But the day Sachin hangs up his boots …………… it will be as if I retired. Didn’t I tell you he is that alter ego I never had.

Sonar Kella has a lot of firsts attached to it - My first book that I read in Bengali, My first Detective film of my life, My first tryst with the splendid world of Feluda ....

Have seen it more than 20 times since then, and it doesnt stop from amazing me even now. The story, the treatment, the technique, everything. Standout being the fact that the book was effortlessly converted to film, without compromising on its thrilling intensity as it is in the book (Something that even the likes of Da Vinci Code, Kite Runner etc. havent been able to achieve).

The casting never got better for any Feluda movie - Soumitra, Santosh Dutta et al.